The Indigo life is no bed of roses. If you have read some of the particular traits of Indigo people, you have learned that we have quite a bit stacked against us in our early lives. In fact, we are classic late bloomers, and because of this, Indigo youth have a very high amount of difficulty assimilating into the mainstream. This is mostly because the mainstream caters to the average mind and intellect, and most Indigos are far from average. This can result in the flaring of depression, and also the abuse of alcohol and drugs. Sometimes it leads to suicide. Misdiagnosis of ADD and other ‘new age’ illnesses add to the confusion, and the youngster is often drugged into submission at a point of life where they need to develop their minds the most.

Adults often don’t have it much better. Because of a lack of adult mentors and guidance, the adult Indigo person often finds themselves adrift, alienated, and at odds with their lives and desires. Their particular Gifts can manifest themselves in very frightening ways, and the great physical and mental changes that their prime begins to bring to them can frighten them into paralyzing panic attacks.

In this essay, I hope to address these things, and bring some insight and perhaps some comfort and encouragement to folks who recognize themselves as Indigo.

I get a lot of email from people about my Indigo writings- more than any other subject that I speak about. One correspondent put our particular problem into perspective when he quoted Barbara Bower’s thought that: "Indigos start as product and gradually through their lifetimes, move into process." 

Translated into Plain ol’ English, this means that we are late bloomers. We have to have a certain critical amount of experience and insight and wisdom before our real work begins. Without that experience, we languish. Some start this process earlier than others, but it eventually boils down to events that occur in ones twenties and thirties and lead to developments in one’s forties, fifties, and sixties.

At this writing, I am 42, right in the middle of the main transition into my prime of life, and currently at the beginning of the Sixth Cycle of seven year cycles of life. My passage into this period of time was a particularly rough one, but also very enlightening. Perhaps my experience will help ease this passage for others who are coming upon it.

My Fifth Cycle of seven years (35-42) was relatively quiet. It was a ‘down’ time to permit time to study, work on internal growth, and prepare myself for the next active cycle of life. I learned to use my particular Gifts, became good at writing, webmastering, moderating groups and boards, and permitted me to amass inner strength to again become active in public. Being ‘public’ is very difficult for me- although I am a pretty good speaker (so I am told), I dislike large crowds and gatherings, and tend to avoid them. But my Guidance was insistent that I build and hone these particular skills, because I would be needing them and the inner strength I built to get through the next Cycle. I was also told that I would be undergoing some changes to my senses- and the act of making these changes would be painful.

I did not realize how painful. As I approached my Sixth Gateway and my 42^nd birthday, my dreams began to change, and dark clouds gathered on my mental horizon. I was seized with bouts of anxiety and panic- what I called the "Nameless Dread"- because all was calm and fine with my ‘real’ life, but inside, things were in turmoil. I would lay on the couch at home with what felt like a telephone pole piercing my chest. Think about the worst betrayal of love, disappointment, or setback you have ever had- and magnify it by an order of magnitude. That was how I felt- without any cause. I felt like I was under constant psychic attack.

I finally had enough of this and went to my doctor for help. Allopathic doctors are clueless about spiritual crises, and I did not bother to try to explain this to him. He decided that I was depressed. My Pagan friends could not help me either- there was no ritual or spell that could turn this off. They theorized that I might be under some sort of magickal attack, but we really couldn’t pin point what the source was. All I could try to do was deflect the energy into the earth and dissipate it.

My doctor prescribed "Lexapro" for my problem. It turned me into a zombie- unable to function, and constantly sleepy and dim. I could not read, write, or think- all I could do was veg out in front of the TV. He switched me to "Zoloft", which was actually worse- in addition to the older side effects, I had horrible dreams, gritted my teeth, and felt twitchy and quick to rage. And I was still a zombie. I finally had enough, and after three months of nightmares, I quit the medications.

As the effects of the medications left my body, it was like the sun was rising on my awareness. Gradually, I could concentrate again, the strange dreams went away, and I had no more nap attacks. I could read novels and some technical matter without difficulty, and gradually, my ability to write and think faded back in. The ‘flow’ was back- and better than ever. And the ‘Nameless Dread’ was gone.

I also discovered that my native psychic capabilities were enhanced. I could hear my Guides much better, and their thoughts came in parallel instead of serially. My sense of other dimensions was enhanced, as was my understanding of some aspects of the physical universe. I began to better grasp the action that thoughts and prayers and magick has on reality, and how directed thought effects it. I felt closer to my Higher Self, and able to interact with Hir much better. And my sense of time and space and their interconnections has changed- it would take an entire website to describe what I now understand. Suffice it to say that my Big Picture has gotten much bigger.

Sadly, the Big Picture reveals a lot of spiritual rot in this world. It is like looking at a perfect apple with spots of decay growing upon it. Concentrating on certain areas of this rot makes it retreat and vanish, but there are many more areas where it is flourishing. I begin to realize that the enhancements I now have enable me to see these things, speak of them, and with help, begin to correct the imbalances. It is the planet herself which brought us here – to gently redirect the great mass of humanity in a more positive direction.

The Indigo Purpose

I asked my Higher Self to please explain to me (and you) why we had to manifest in this particularly difficult manner. Here is what I have learned:

The Indigo passages are particularly rough and difficult for a reason. They burn away the dross and lassitude and inner ignorance and fear and temper us for strength in our true work here. The personal victory over our problems in our personal lives and our discovery and use of the unique Indigo gifts we have gives us the depth of experience to weather the difficulties the entire world faces. With our own rough passages behind us, our job is to assume a role of mentor and quiet leadership for those who also seek Light. All the pain and suffering is our ‘been there, done that, here’s what I did to get past it’ card. And it teaches us perseverance and gives us a depth of inner reserve that will be needed in the difficult days to come.

The current war is one obvious symptom of the great spiritual rot that has been growing in the world for the last half century. In spite of incredible technological advances and breakthroughs, people have sunk into incredible depths of helplessness, physical and spiritual poverty, ignorance, fear, and religious fanaticism. Others have taken the opportunity of the general indifference to their governments and communities to seize and consolidate power, squashing all competition and dissent. The gap between the rich and poor – in both material and spiritual matters- has become enormous. Miscommunication and disinformation is rife, and Truth is a rare and fleeting thing. Everything has its particular ‘spin’, and the absurd is now normal. We have great technological tools and incredible scientific advances, but they are being put to horrible use. Good ideas are being buried under piles of litigation. A great cloud of fear-filled darkness is enveloping our world. A tiny number of power- addled people is steering the great mass of humanity and its world into darkness and spiritual slavery.

What is the Indigo purpose? Our purpose is to anchor small, but growing points of Light, Life, and Love into these growing spots of darkness- to provide a place and means of hope, awakening, and insight which will begin to dissipate the darkness. This is done in a natural and subtly quiet way, not by forceful preaching or screaming in the streets. Indigos must use our natural Gifts and our particular places in our communities to establish and anchor the Light, and do it in such a way that the community we serve believes that they did it on their own. (They may eventually discover the Lightworker in their midst, but they will have to look carefully!) Our strength will give strength to those who feel hopeless, and Awaken them, permitting them to shine their own Light into the darkness. Person by person, soul by soul, light by light, the vast majority of people will outstrip the spiritual darkness and turn this world around. Fear will be replaced by love and tolerance. Ignorance will be replaced by knowledge. Lassitude will be replaced by action. Dogma will be replaced by direct understanding. Balance will be restored to both humanity and the planet. We will become true spiritual peers, not the ‘us’ and ‘them’ of the old ways. When a critical turnover point is reached in the relighting of our world, our awareness of this planet as a living, conscious being will become more commonplace. People calling themselves Earth Talkers will appear, speaking for the local areas, directing the inhabitants to utilize the land in an optimal way. As people Awaken, they will become more attuned to the Greater World- our local Cosmos- the sun, moon and planets, and learn to work with their cycles of energy to heal both themselves and the planet.

We will continue to evolve. Some Indigo people are undergoing another passage into the next octave of awareness- what the New Agers call "Crystal", but also known as Octarine. These people will have the ability to see the vast array of thoughts, dreams, wishes and needs of humanity, and to pop in and out of various dimensions at will to help work on these needs. They have highly developed and directed minds- and are capable of sensing more than one universe or dimension at a time. This enables them to be in more than one place at once, and help to direct Light to places most badly in need of it. They use dreams of hope and love as well as serendipitous solutions to help anchor the Light, and give positive visions to those whose word would propagate the Light thus established. They help to sow and establish hope and catalyze the ability to overcome difficulty. They tighten the light bulb in its socket.

This breakover to Light will begin slowly, but as it propagates into the world, will pick up speed and flash into reality, overturning the darkness in a dramatic manner. The old oppressors will try to keep their stranglehold on the planet, but in turn will also realize the Light will heal them as well. In letting go of the old way of imbalance, they help to return the world to stability, peace, and balance.

This is our purpose. This is our mission. This is why we have been run through the grinder. Now that you have an idea of the Big Picture, you can begin to see a way to make it happen. It is a change of mind, a change of heart, and an opening to our greater potential as human beings. It can be done without the weapons, terror, death, and suffering of the Darkness. It is happening now, and you are part of it.

Think about that…

Pax et Lux

Sunfell

Ó 2003 by Sunfell

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